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I have been traveling alone since 2007.

It did not start as some bold life plan. It started out of necessity and curiosity.

That year I wanted to visit friends in New Zealand. They were working during the week, so I decided to explore the South Island on my own.

Later that same year I had ten days off work. My boyfriend could not travel, so I went to Italy and England alone.

That experience quietly changed everything.
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In 2010 I wanted to backpack around the world with my boyfriend. It was not his dream, but it was mine.

So I went alone.

The first week was rough. I felt lonely and stayed glued to email and messages from home.

Then something shifted.

I stopped reaching back for comfort. I started being present where I was.

I learned how to sit with myself in public. I learned how to be alone without feeling exposed.

That is when solo travel showed me its real gift.

Once you are comfortable eating alone, going to a movie alone, navigating a new city alone, something clicks. You realize you do not need permission or company to enjoy your own life.

That kind of ease feels powerful. You are happy simply being yourself.

This does not mean I am antisocial.

I love traveling with my mother and my sister. I love building memories with Alan. Shared travel is joyful and meaningful in its own way.

Being partnered does not end solo travel either.

I am finishing two weeks on my own in Colombia as I write this. It is my fourth visit, and traveling solo here felt glorious.

I loved being completely selfish in the best way. I did not need to check if someone was tired or hungry. I changed plans on a whim. I followed my own energy all day.

There is a quiet thrill in figuring things out on your own. It reminds you that you are capable and self sufficient.

Tomorrow I fly to Asia to travel with Alan again. I feel grateful to have a partner who supports my solo trips and understands that different does not mean better.

For those of you who secretly wish you could do this, I want you to know it is a skill you can build.

Here are a few ways to start

1. Join a group trip​
   There are many Facebook groups for solo travelers over forty. Some organize trips with no single supplement. You travel independently but have built in company when you want it.
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   P.S. Next month I'm announcing the trip to Vietnam this autumn and hopefully one to Cuba depending on what happens over the next few weeks
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2. Take an overnight or weekend trip alone​
   It does not need to be far. Go somewhere nearby for a weekend. Eat well. Take a walking tour. See a movie or a play. No one is paying attention, especially in the dark.
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3. Bring a book or journal to dinner
   ​Choose a place you are excited about. Order a drink. Enjoy the meal slowly. A journal helps you stay present. Keep your phone off the table so you do not disappear into texting people at home.
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4. Buy a disposable camera​
   It puts space between you and your phone. Try a simple photo challenge like A to Z. You will see more when you are not scrolling.
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5. Make a plan​
   Research just as you would for any other trip. List your must do activities and a few extras. I always look up coffee shops and local restaurants ahead of time so I never feel lost.
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6. Send yourself a postcard​
   It sounds silly, but mail feels special now. When it arrives weeks later, it brings you back to that moment.

If safety is what holds you back, reply to this email and next time I will share what I have learned after some hard lessons along the way.

Solo travel changed my life. It taught me confidence, patience, and trust in myself. The only way to get over your fear is to do it, even if you begin with small steps.

Keep life delicious,

Ayngelina